Miscellaneous ramblings - Richard Spelling

Been awhile since the last issue. I'm not too awful concerned, as this is a user contribution driven site. If any of you readers want more frequent issues to be published, then you should send in your boat stories! <grin>

Lot's of contributions this issue. We even have a couple of interesting articles from a dinghy cruiser. Here is the link to the press release...

Been damned busy doing other things besides boating, myself.

The other day I was at my house in Mannford and a squirrel was in the big bird feeder munching down with his back to the house door. I had my leather gloves on to go work with the tractor, so I quietly walked up behind it and smacked it on the ass.

It goes "EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!", jumps in air about two feet, falls to the ground and climbs up the tree in about 1/10th second.

So, the other day I made a squirrel squeal.

My daughter Alana thought it was quite funny, she was watching from the door.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time in OKC, since I work there (and have for the last two plus years...). I've always wanted to set up some cameras to keep and eye on the Mannford place while I wasn't there. I finally broke down and built a camera system with web accesible DVR, etc, after my evil redheaded step daughter asked one paranoid time too many about the cameras I had in the house to watch her. Oh, well, if I'm going to be accused of spying, I might as well! :-) I setup a linux server in the shop with a camera watching the driveway. Useful for knowing when the UPS man has delivered a package and left it out in the weather, etc.

Evil redheaded stepchild is 21, and was staying with us while she “got back on her feet”, and because she had no place else to go. Funny thing, after I put the cameras up I got some nice shots of her bringing her boyfriend over to the house while I wasn't there. This was strictly forbidden, an “I throw you out” offense. She no longer resides there...

But anyway, I picked up a GS Civil Service job where I work. I decided, if I was going to have a permanent position here, that I needed to buy a house a little closer to work. We looked around for a while and finally picked a "fixer upper" on 3 acres about 7 miles from Tinker AFB. Of course, one of the first things I did was put up some security cameras at the new place. After they were up, I felt reasonably secure, and proceeded to move stuff from Mannford to OKC.

I was still sleeping in the apartment in town, and one Sunday morning the wife got up and checked the cameras and noticed the trailer was missing. We checked the footage, someone had cut the lock on the gate, came into the yard right under the mercury light, hooked up to my trailer, loaded my lawn mower onto the trailer using my ramps, and drove off. People are assholes.

Called the cops, filed a report. Told them I had video footage of the trailer being stolen, and I wanted someone to look at it. Got a call-back from the police department, they took my statement over the phone, didn't bother to come visit. They were not interested in seeing the video, and were more interested in MY physical description than the description of the truck that drove off with my trailer attached. Sent an email to all the local TV stations, none of them were interested in running the video. Put up fliers at the local gas stations, even offered a reward. To no avail. Borrowed something you hold in your hands from one friend, and something you wear from another friend, bought an inflatable mattress from Wal-Mart, and started sleeping at the house. I would park the truck in the back and lock the gate with the lock on the outside, hoping against hope that "they" would return and break into the house. I had a small surprise for "them". Actually, nine small round surprises...

Moved a mobile home onto my property to live in while we fix up the house. Got all the proper permits and "special exceptions", etc. Which is a whole other story by itself.

When it came time to hook the mobile home up to the electricity, I even hired an electrician to hook me up instead of doing it myself, so everything would be kosher. Ouch. $1500. I could have bought the parts at Lowes for $600. I so love living in the city.

So. I get my electrical and mechanical inspections, and call OEC and ask them to set a meter. They say the City hasn't released the meter. I call the city electrical permit office; they say I need the building inspection done first.

The online page for my permit looks like this:

building
electrical X
foundation
sidewalk
mechanical X
zoning
frame
driveway

I schedule the building inspector to come out. He comes out the next day, it is raining and lightening. Before I can unlock the gate to let him in, he sticks his head out the window and asks what I need. I say, "a building inspection so they will release the meter". He says "I can see it from here".

I ask him to call it in so they will release the meter. A few minutes later the list looks like this:

building
electrical X
foundation X
sidewalk
mechanical X
zoning
frame
driveway

I call the electrical permit office, they say "what about all the rest?" They transfer me to the building permit office. I sweet-talk the girl, "the inspector was just here and looked at all of that!".

Now the list looks like:

building x
electrical X
foundation x
sidewalk
mechanical X
zoning x
frame
driveway

I go back to the electrical permit office, they point out there are more on the list.

I talk to the girl in building permit office again, point out that it's a mobile home, and there is no "framing" to inspect. She removes that one from the list. I get transferred to ANOTHER office, the office of "Plan Review", for the remaining "sidewalk" and "driveway" inspections. They are out to lunch, but someone answers the phone and logs my request for a "status check" on an existing driveway and sidewalk.

He says it will probably take three days or so for the inspector to get out and look at it. And we are coming up on a long weekend, so it will probably be over a week before I have electricity.

Friday morning, I try one more time. I call the "plan review" office and get them to send out an inspector to look at my driveway. He measures the depth of the ditch (which is the cities responsibility) and says, "it looks ok to me". I ask him to call that in so they will release the meter. He says he will.

I call the electrical permit office from work, and finally get them to release the meter. Then I call OEC and tell them "I have already accomplished one impossible thing today. Now I need to do another. Can you get them to set my meter TODAY, before the long weekend?" Gave them my call back number. Surprise, surprise, they call within 30 minutes and tell me the linemen are on the way, and I should please go unlock my gate. Ran out and unlocked the gate, waited for OEC to set the meter, tested everything, then left the AC on for wife. Nice surprise for her, as she was expecting a powerless house for the weekend.

This reminds me of a skit from Monty Python.

Next place I buy I'm putting in a nuclear power plant and a big sign on the gate that says "everyone welcome except thieves and building inspectors".

I have been working so hard, full time job, and full time working on the place to get it ready to move in, that I have decided to take a month off. I'm going to go to the messabout at Rend Lake, and just piddle for a while. Relax. Watch TV. Play Civ IV (between crashes)

Oh. Yeah. TV. Called Dish Network, told them I have moved from apartment and need them to come install the dish at my new place. They send out installer. He says:

“I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that we can install it; the bad news is that we have to put it on a pole right here. And I can't put it here today, because it rained last night.”

I have two issues with this, he is standing on top of the trench that the sewer line is buried in, and it has rained every night for the last couple months.

I ask him about different locations not so much in the middle of the yard. “Oh, no, that one is two close to that tree. And that one next to the house doesn't have line of site. And he couldn't mount it on the end of the house because “we can't mount to metal”.

Then I really pissed him off when I went and got the dish from the apartment and show him how it was pointing, and that there would be plenty of good line of site, and I showed him the bracket where it was mounted to the metal railing at the apartment complex.

He storms off and calls his boss, while I go to work and call Dish and tell them to send out a different company.

Next guy is scheduled for a Monday morning. Guess what? I was there the whole time, and no one showed up. I called Dish and they said the installer had showed up and that the gate was closed. He had then called the wife's OLD cell phone number instead of the contact number I had given Dish, and decided to leave when no one answered the phone. Funny, he couldn't honk his horn or something?

Interestingly, I checked the video footage from the cameras for the time frame he was supposed to have showed up, and couldn't find any car or truck that had stopped at the gate. Go figure.

Anyway. I got disgusted with them, and installed the damned thing myself, ran some cable, and pointed the dish. Funny thing, there on the end of the house, on the metal, where there is no line of sight, I get a better signal that I have ever seen from a dish.

Then, for the next install, to install the second DVR, they again fail to show up. I did get an call on my cell phone, but the caller hung up after one ring, and the caller ID showed "unknown number".

Enough complaining.

Did you know, yesterday I was driving into town and saw one of those trucks used to pump out septic tanks? On the back of the truck was a sign that said “inedible”...